Although we are repeatedly told that exceptional achievers owe their success to their high confidence or self-belief, it is more feasible to attribute it to their insecurity — why else would anybody work so hard, and continue to work hard even after accomplishing much more than most people?
— Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Ph.D, Confidence

Listen to Season One, Episode #5 Now

We're joined with Cam and Karen Poter (a stand-up comedian and his sexually liberated cougar mother) from the podcast Sex Talk with My Mom to deconstruct sex and confidence. The stories get out of control pretty quickly. Mohnish, Kevin, Cam, and Karen cover:

- Why is the way everyone thinks about confidence wrong and how do you actually build confidence?

- How can you better understand your relationship goals (short-term, medium-term, or long-term) and craft a better dating life?

- How did Cam go to the hospital for the most ridiculous reason I've ever heard?

- Do women find most men attractive (like men do)? 

- And more, all on this episode.

P.S. Want to ask us a question and get it featured on the podcast? There's a 99% we'll probably do it, so ask away here.

Want to download the episode as an MP3? Click here, then right click and hit "Save As"

Cam and Karen Poter?

- Cam and Karen are awesome. If you have no idea who they are, you need to listen to their wonderful podcast Sex Talk with my Mom. It's just incredible, open, honest, sincere, and hilarious. Seriously - listen to this podcast, we highly recommend it. Subscribe to this on iTunes.

- If you're a woman, 35+, and single and ready to mingle, first off, you're probably not listening to this podcast, but second, Karen has a book out called A Cougar's Guide to Getting Your Ass Back Out There - check it out. Here's her Youtube channel, the Karen Lee Poter Show.

Research, Fun Stuff, and More

- If you want to read one book about confidence, I've got you covered - read Confidence by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Ph.D. It's written by an actual researcher (business psychologist and professor at UCL and NYU) and it's stellar. Seriously - I've recommended this book to friends, and if you want to really understand confidence for the first time (even if you think you know what you're talking about), this book is basically the last and best word on the subject. The Mating Grounds has an excellent summary of the book here.

- Insightful podcast on how to actually build confidence in your dating life.

- Cam, after the podcast, messaged me and Kev on Facebook with wonderful advice: "Yo dawgs. Great talking with you today. I had one final thought re therapy that I thought I'd pass on. In its best form, I think it's super beneficial. A phenomenal way to gain insight about yourself and the world. However, there's always the risk that you encounter a shitty therapist that fucks with your head more than helps it. I was able to find a great therapist from a recommendation from my friend's therapist that he trusts, so if you're interested in therapy, I suggest asking around to find a good one. You can also try out a few to find one that you most respect and connect with. All this said, I would trust yourself to sniff out the shoddy ones. Just remember that therapists are humans too, ultimately confused like the rest of us."

Credits and Special Thanks

Guests: Cam Poter, Karen Poter

Main Host: Mohnish Soundararajan

Co-Host: Kevin Sanji

Research and Editing: Mohnish Soundararajan

Content Ideation: Mohnish Soundararajan, Vysali Soundararajan, and Justine Brumm

Music: CJ Beats